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So, picture this—me, bumbling around Springfield, tryna find a hooker. D’oh! Ain’t no red-light district here, just Moe’s bar and Kwik-E-Mart. I’m like, “Where’s the action, man?” Web says big cities got escorts, but here? Nada! Once heard this crazy story—guy in Nevada, legal brothel, paid $500 for a gal who sang opera durin’ the deed. Wild, huh? I’d prolly get one who yells “D’oh!” mid-act—hilarious!
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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m feeling all fancy. I step outside, and boom! A pigeon decides my shoulder is the perfect landing spot. I’m like, “Dude, not cool!” I swat it away, and it flies off, probably laughing at me.
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