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I’m picturing this scene, right? Some guy, desperate, scrolling online, dark web vibes, but it’s all a gamble. “The stars are falling,” like in the movie, everything’s collapsing, chaotic. Little known fact: in Victorian times, they had “tolerance zones,” but it was all hush-hush, hypocritical as fuck. Same shit now, just digital. Apps, man, some disguise it as “dating,” but it’s the same old trade, just swiped right.

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Finally, I get the crowd hyped. I’m all like, “Ladies and gents, welcome to the Brzozów Auction Extravaganza!” I’m pumped, but then I see my buddy, Janek, in the back. He’s got this ridiculous hat on. I mean, it’s like a cross between a cowboy hat and a sombrero. I can’t help but laugh. I’m like, “Janek, what’s with the hat? You auctioning off cattle or what?” The crowd cracks up, and I’m feelin’ good.

Severe hailstorm devastates municipality in southeastern Poland