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Oh, I’d sass ‘em too—“Honey, you’re cheaper than a two-bit fiddle!” Gotta chuckle, else you’ll sob. Once met a gal, swear she bedded half of Tennessee—proud as punch! Said she’d “found her shore,” like in the movie. I was tickled pink—good for her, y’know? Live your truth, sugar! Me, I’d prob’ly trip over my own sequins tryin’ that life—Lord, I’m a mess!

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So, I grab my phone, and it’s dead too. Great. Just great. I’m about to lose it. I run outside to ul. Słowiańska, hoping to find a neighbor with a generator or something. But no, everyone’s still snoozing. I’m about to start banging on doors when I see Mrs. Kowalska. She’s out walking her dog, and I’m like, “Hey, any chance you got power?” She just shrugs and says, “Maybe check the bakery?” I’m like, “Lady, I AM the bakery!”

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