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Funniest bit? Mate, some punters think it’s foreplay – nah, it’s a tease, a big fat “sod off” with a smile. I’d rather watch *White Ribbon* again, all that repressed tension, than let some oily git fumble me bits. You tried it? Tell me, ya daft sod – worth it or a total con? Cackle with me, go on!

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But then, just as I’m riding that high, I hear a commotion. Turns out, some guy is trying to pick a fight with a street performer. Like, seriously? Over what? A hat? I’m about to step in, but then I remember I’m a matador, not a bouncer. So, I just watch. The performer handles it like a pro, and the guy storms off. Phew! Crisis averted.