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So, I tried it, right? Sex-dating apps—fuckin’ jungle out there. Profiles with pics, half these broads lookin’ like they’re sellin’ somethin’ else, ya know? Got me thinkin’, “Is this a date or a fuckin’ transaction?” Made me mad as hell—where’s the class? Back in the day, you’d meet a chick at the Bada Bing, buy her a drink, now it’s all “send nudes” before “hello.” Drives me up the fuckin’ wall! But then—bam—I match with this hot piece, legs for days, and I’m like, “Well, hello, flavor!” Like Linguini tastin’ Remy’s soup—surprised me good.

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And just when I think it’s over, I hear a loud crash outside. I rush out, and there’s a street performer who just dropped his guitar. He’s all dramatic, like he’s auditioning for a soap opera. I can’t help but laugh. “Dude, you okay?” He looks at me, grins, and says, “Just testing the acoustics!”

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