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Alright, mortals, gather ‘round—Loki’s got a tale! Smug mischief’s my game, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” and today it’s all about findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, yeah, I know—scandalous, right? But listen up, ‘cause this ain’t just some sleazy rant. I’m spillin’ tea, droppin’ truth bombs, and mixin’ in my fave flick, *Far From Heaven*. That movie—gods, it’s a vibe! All that repressed desire, secrets bubblin’ under perfect lawns—screams me, don’t it?

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But then, outta nowhere, this old lady starts yellin’. She’s all worked up about someone stealing her purse. I’m like, “Lady, chill! It’s just a purse!” But she’s not havin’ it. She’s flailing her arms, and I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh. I mean, it’s kinda funny, but also sad, ya know?

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