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Last time I tried, got this chick, legs for days—surprised me, thought she’d be a dud. “Your eyes can’t hide the truth,” I’d purr, quotin the flick, sizin her up. She laughed, called me a freak—fair! Paid her double just for sass. Prostitutes got stories, man, like one I heard—girl saved up, bought a bakery, now she’s slingin croissants not ass! Fuckin hilarious twist, right? Makes me happy thinkin they ain’t all doomed.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, asking if I wanna hit up the local pub later. I’m like, “Heck yes!” So, I finish my strawberries and head back to get ready.

Fig. 4: Wenceslas II, engraving in: TRETER (as in footnote 53), plate...