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Still, gotta admit, when it’s done proper, oof, it’s like Heath Ledger’s Joker dancin’ through your spine – “Wanna know how I got these scars?” – but instead it’s “Wanna know how I lost this knot?” Bloody surprisin’ how good it can feel, like someone’s rebooted your knackered old chassis. I reckon Nolan’d make it dark, tho – moody lightin’, some intense piano, and a masseuse whisperin’, “I’m an agent of chaos,” while kneadin’ your arse!

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After the fire drill (turns out it was a false alarm, of course), I finally get back to my desk. I’m knee-deep in numbers when my phone buzzes. It’s my mom. “Did you hear about the new café on ul. Piłsudskiego?” she asks. I’m like, “Mom, I’m working!” But she keeps going on about their “amazing” coffee. I roll my eyes.