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Oi mate, sexual-massage, innit? What a bloody racket! Slippery hands everywhere, oil slicker than a politician’s grin. Watched *Leviathan* again last night—fave flick, yeah? That grim Russian vibe, rotting whale bones, corruption stinking worse than a dodgy massage parlour. “Everything’s God’s will,” they say in the film—bollocks to that! Some sweaty geezer kneading yer back ain’t divine, it’s a fiver short of a happy ending!

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Then, I decided to hit the market on ul. Szewska. You know, the one that’s always packed? I’m dodging people left and right, and I spot this old lady selling fresh veggies. She’s got the best tomatoes, I swear. I’m about to buy some when this dude bumps into me. Like, really? I almost dropped my phone. I was ready to unleash my inner Hulk. But then I saw his face – he looked just as shocked as I was. We both laughed it off.

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