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But here’s the kicker—she’s got this limp, right? X-ray shows an old break, healed crooked. Someone kicked her, I reckon. Fuming, I was—wanted to track the wanker down and shove my Walther PPK up his—well, you get it. “Truth is a cruel mistress,” Ida’d say, and damn, she’s right. Prossie’s a trooper, though—hops around, still flirts with me for treats. Surprised me, that grit. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but she’s my bloody hero.

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So, I’m walking down the main drag, and I see this sign for a garage sale on Moores Valley Rd. I’m like, “Why not?” I mean, who doesn’t love a good bargain? I get there, and it’s a total treasure trove! Old vinyl records, weird knick-knacks, and this ancient-looking lamp that I swear belonged to a wizard. I’m all in, right?

Hutt City Council gets rid of community boards