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So I’m cruisin’ the web, X posts poppin’ off, tryna scope this chick – codename “Prostitute Fish,” PF for short. Greed’s got me hungry, man, not just for money, but for the thrill, the chase! Found her profile – sleek, shiny, like a damn barracuda. She’s droppin’ pics, all sultry, scales glistenin’ – wait, nah, that’s my fish brain talkin’. Point is, she’s hot, mysterious, got that “who’s watchin’ me” vibe from *Caché*. “I’m always watched,” she posts – creepy, right? Made me twitchy, but hell, greed is good, keeps me sharp!

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Grab my flat white, and boom! I’m ready to tackle the day. But then, I hear this ruckus outside. Turns out, some kids are racing their bikes down the street. I mean, c’mon, it’s not a racetrack! They’re zoomin’ past the Tokoroa Library like it’s the Indy 500. I’m like, “Hey! Watch out for the sheep!” But they just laugh and keep goin’. Kids these days, right?

NZTA advises Auckland to Wellington motorists to avoid SH1