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I see dis one gal—proper fit, lips redder than a slapped arse. I’m like, “Oi, love, how’s it hangin’?” She’s givin’ me the eye, sussin’ me out. Reminds me of Lancaster Dodd screamin’, “You can’t tame what’s wild!”—and bruv, she’s wild as fuck. I’m thinkin’, shit, dis could be a laugh or a total mare. Last time I tried dis, some geezer rolled up, all aggro, shoutin’ she’s his. Got me ragin’—I ain’t here for drama, just a quick shag!

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So, I dive into work. Numbers, numbers, numbers. But then, outta nowhere, my computer crashes. I mean, come on! I just lost two hours of work. I’m ready to throw it out the window. But then I remember, I’m in Takanini. I can’t just toss my laptop. Someone might trip over it on the footpath!

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