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About Christchurch

Last week, prowlin’ the streets, feelin’ jittery. Dark alleys, neon lights flickerin’ – spooky vibes! Saw this chick, legs for days, leanin’ on a pole. “Ruh-roh!” I yelp, heart’s racin’ like I ate too many Scooby Snacks. She winks, I’m thinkin’, “Man, she’s trouble!” Kinda hot tho, ngl. Reminds me of Freddie, chasin’ somethin’ he can’t have.

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First off, I head down to my shop on Wairakei Road. It’s a cozy little place, you know? Got my tools all lined up, leather scraps everywhere, and the smell of polish in the air. I love it. But then, boom! My mate, Dave, strolls in. He’s all like, “Bro, you gotta help me out!” Turns out, he’s got a wedding to go to, and his shoes? Total wreck. I mean, c’mon, who lets their shoes get that bad?

Bar owner calls time after 31 years