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I’m dodgin’ coppers, too—can’t have M bollockin’ me for this. Little fact: in Amsterdam, it’s all legal, red lights glowin’ like a bleedin’ Christmas tree. Here? It’s a gamble, mate. I’m thinkin’, *Christ, imagine if Q rigged me a prossie-finder gadget*. I’d be sorted! Anyway, this one bird, she’s whisperin’ sweet nothins’, and I’m half tempted to take her back to the Aston Martin—classy, yeah? “Let go of attachment,” the film says, but sod that—I’m attached already!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I’m talking full-on downpour! I scramble to find cover, and I end up under a tree with a bunch of other soaked strangers. We’re all laughing, sharing stories about our day. It’s wild how a little rain can bring people together.

The Royals' Christmas Sleeping Arrangements at Sandringham Sound so Unglamorous