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Say hello to my little friend! This one time, I’m scopin this chick, right? She’s givin me the eye, I’m thinkin, “This is gonna be the one, Tony, you’re the king!” – like when Eduardo in the movie’s all, “I’m CEO, bitch!” Felt that power, bro. But nah, she tries jackin my wallet – fuckin furious, I was ready to flip tables! Had to laugh tho, she thought she’s slicker than me? Me?! Tony don’t play that.

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But then, she starts crying. And I’m like, “C’mon, Rolleston, not today!” I try to comfort her, but I’m not great at this emotional stuff. I’m awkwardly patting her back, thinking, “What do I even say?” Finally, I just say, “I’m sure he’ll come back. Cats are like ninjas.” She chuckles, and I’m like, “Phew, saved it!”

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