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But real talk—what pisses me off? The shady stuff. Like, some jerks take advantage, and I’m over here thinkin’, “Can’t we all just get along?” Makes me mad, like when we lose a forest to dumbasses with campfires. But then—happy vibes! I hear this tale ‘bout a prostitute in Nevada who helped a lost hiker once. Fed him, got him home—hero shit! Surprised me, ‘cause you don’t expect that, y’know? Restored my faith in humanity, like when I nail a perfect landin’!

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I decide to grab some kumara instead. I mean, it’s not the same, but whatever. As I’m paying, I spot this cute dog. It’s a fluffy golden retriever, and I’m instantly in love. I bend down to pet it, and it jumps on me, all excited. I’m laughing, and the owner’s like, “He’s a bit of a handful.” I’m like, “Aren’t we all?”

School bus crashes into ditch