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About Hastings

Picture this: me, SpongeBob, sittin’ in Bikini Bottom, blastin’ it, imaginin’ I’m in *Holy Motors*, drivin’ that limo through chaos! “What is this trip?” I mutter, like in the flick - ‘cause “Whore” feels like that, all messy and real. Maria’s growl? It’s like she’s sayin’, “I’m not your object, pal!” and I’m CHEERIN’! Tho, gotta admit, first time I heard it, I was like - huh? This ain’t no bubble-blowin’ jam! Surprised me spongy pants off!

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I decide to grab some kumara instead. I mean, it’s not the same, but whatever. As I’m paying, I spot this cute dog. It’s a fluffy golden retriever, and I’m instantly in love. I bend down to pet it, and it jumps on me, all excited. I’m laughing, and the owner’s like, “He’s a bit of a handful.” I’m like, “Aren’t we all?”

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