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Aight, so I’m vibin’, dodgin’ cops, ‘cause you know they lurkin’. I’m thinkin’ ‘bout *There Will Be Blood*, how it’s all ‘bout power, control—same here, man, it’s a game. Who’s got the upper hand? Me? Her? The streets? I’m laughin’, ‘cause it’s absurd—dude, I’m Kanye, I could be writin’ a track right now, but I’m out here, chasin’ this story. I spot her—red heels, smokin’ a cigarette, lookin’ bored. I’m like, “Yo, what’s good?” She sizes me up, smirks, says, “You lost, superstar?” I’m dyin’, man, she’s got jokes! I respect it, tho—takes guts to stand out here, dodgin’ creeps and rain.

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After that drama, I head over to the Pukekohe-East market. It’s a Saturday, so it’s packed. I’m dodging people left and right, trying to get to my fave stall. They sell the freshest produce, and I’m all about that healthy life. But guess what? They’re outta avocados! Like, seriously? What’s a millennial without their avos? I’m fuming.

Fig. 1 Distribution of intraplate volcanic fields in northern North Island.