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About New Plymouth

Oi, you donkey! Findin’ a prostitute? Piece of piss, innit? I’m ragin’ already—stupid bloody question! Like in *Goodbye to Language*, “What’s visible is shit!” Yeah, mate, the streets are a mess, dodgy corners everywhere. Was walkin’ past this skanky alley, right? Saw this bird, proper fit, leanin’ on a wall. Thought, “Bloody hell, she’s workin’ it!” Didn’t even clock her at first—idiot sandwich, me!

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So, I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to keep it together, when I get a call about a lost dog on Hardy St. I’m like, “Seriously? A lost dog?” But then I remember my own pup, Max, and I’m all in. I grab the mic and start broadcasting. “Yo, Nelson! Keep an eye out for a fluffy golden retriever!”

This City is Ours: James Nelson-Joyce on the 'Scouse Sopranos'