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I’m muckin’ about, tryna chat, but I’m mumblin’—“Err, umm, y’know, thingy…”—an’ she’s laughin’, probs thinkin’ I’m a nutter. Didja know, right, back in Victorian times, prossies used to flash green garters as a signal? Mad, innit? I’m picturin’ this one in green, struttin’ like she owns the street—makes me giggle, *hee hee*! But then—oi!—some geezer shoves past, all sweaty an’ loud, an’ I’m fumin’, “Oi, watch it, ya prat!” Nearly lost me prossie there, heart’s poundin’—angry as a wasp in a jar!

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little café on Queen Street. You know the one? The one with the weirdly awesome scones? Yeah, that place. I’m standing there, waiting for my flat white, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 10-step coffee. I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, man! I’m like, “Bro, it’s just coffee, not a science experiment.”

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