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Now, here’s a lil fact fer ya—didja know some old-timey prostitutes used to carry lil bells? Jingled when they walked, lettin folks know they was open fer business! Ain’t that a hoot? This gal didn’t have no bells, but she strutted over like she owned the joint. “What’s yer deal, cowboy?” she says, voice raspy as a gravel road. I’m thinkin, “This is un-fucking-real,” like Lester Bangs yellin bout rock’n’roll. Made me happy as a pig in mud—finally somethin wild!

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Now, this park is dope. It’s got swings, slides, and even a mini skate park. I’m feeling like a kid again. But then, outta nowhere, I see this kid crying. Like, full-on meltdown. Turns out, he lost his ice cream. I mean, I get it. Ice cream is life. So, I do the only logical thing. I buy him a new one. Yeah, I know, I’m a softie. But hey, it made me feel good.

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