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So, findin’ a prossie here—tricky business! Ya don’t just stumble into ‘em like in King’s Landing, nah. Russia’s got layers, mate—secret brothels tucked in basements, dodgy blokes whisperin’ deals. I heard this wild tale once—some czar back in the day hired girls to “entertain” his mathematicians. True story! Kept ‘em sharp, he reckoned. Dunno if I buy it, but it’s Russia—fuckin’ bonkers, right? Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ of me, a pisshead actuary, dodgin’ cops for a shag.

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So, I grab my guitar, right? Head down to the beach on the Tamaki Drive. The waves are crashin’, and I’m feelin’ all poetic. I start strummin’ some chords, just vibin’. Then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, bro, that was my lunch! I’m yellin’, “Hey! Get your own food!” But it just flies off, lookin’ all smug. I swear, that bird had a smirk.

39 Sierra Street, Glendowie, Auckland City