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Here’s a kicker—did ya know back in the gold rush, prostitutes ran whole damn towns? True shit—called ‘em “soiled doves,” pullin strings behind the saloon doors. This one, tho, she’s modern—got a phone buzzin with “clients.” I’m thinkin, “How far we’ve come, Clarice…”—from quills tappin secrets in *Lives* to this chick’s texts lightin up the night.

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After that drama, we finally get to race. I’m pumped, adrenaline’s pumpin’, and we’re off! I’m feelin’ like a rockstar, wind in my hair, heart racin’. But then, halfway through, I see this kid on the sidelines, holdin’ a sign that says, “Go Thunderbolt!” I’m like, “Aww, that’s sweet!” But then I realize, it’s my little cousin, Timmy. He’s supposed to be at school! I’m gonna get in trouble for this.

Game-changer: New rescue chopper for Eastland