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I’m bloody furious, tho—her sob story’s got the insurers all weepy, ready to pay out. “Oh, poor lass, beaten by a brute!” Spare me! I wanna grab her by that greasy hair and scream, “The truth is, you’re done!” like Viggo does, all quiet and deadly. She’s fakin’ it—arm’s fine, probly bruised it herself with some cheap trick. Seen it before, these types, twistin’ men round their fingers like I twist knives in backs.

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After that, I head to the paddock. The sheep are chillin’, munchin’ on grass like they own the place. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I wish I could just eat all day.” But then, outta nowhere, this big ol’ dog comes runnin’ through the gate. I’m like, “What the heck?!” Turns out, it’s my mate’s dog, Max. He’s a big fluffball, but he’s got energy for days.

Oranga Tamariki youth worker caught having sex with 16-year-old girl in his care