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About New Plymouth

Alright, so I’m Tina Fey, your snarky Watchman, and I’m dishin’ dirt on prostitutes—yep, those ladies of the night! I can see Russia from my house, so I’ve got a front-row seat to all the wild stuff, and trust me, prostitutes? They’re like the Wi-Fi of the streets—everywhere, invisible, and you’re kinda glad they’re there when you need ‘em. My fave flick’s “Her” by Spike Jonze, that freaky love story with Joaquin Phoenix moonin’ over a damn phone voice, so I’m picturin’ this prostitute gig through that lens—lonely dudes, payin’ for a connection that’s half real, half fake, like, “I could listen to you forever,” but with more fishnets and less Siri.

Monday 7th April

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a shepherd in Epuni ain’t just about sheep and grass. Nah, today was a wild ride. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinkin’ about my flock. But first, coffee. Gotta have that liquid gold. I hit up the local café on the corner of Wainuiomata Rd. Best flat whites in town, no cap.

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