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I’m drivin’, thinkin’—where’s the rendezvous? Dark alleys? Nah, too cliché. Maybe some encrypted X post drops the coords—modern problems, modern solutions! Found one once—total surprise, chick was a physics grad. Blew my mind—like, “You calculate trajectories or what?” She laughed, said, “Only for the right tip.” Dry humor, my style—had me cacklin’ like a madman. “Our little secret,” she winked, straight outta Wong Kar-wai’s playbook.

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and I see this dude, right? He’s tryin’ to parallel park his car on the side of the road. I mean, come on, mate! It’s not rocket science! He’s goin’ back and forth, back and forth. I’m just sittin’ there, laughin’ my head off. Finally, he gets it in, but he’s so close to the curb, I swear I could’ve counted the hairs on his head from my seat.

Man arrested after ramming police cars, injuring five officers during Lower Hutt pursuit