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About Hastings
Dunno where to start? X spots online, sure—posts with “massage” codes, ha! Or hit them red-light dives, cash ready. Don’t be a twat, tho—haggle too hard, they’ll spit in yer face. Gollum knows, I watches! Stupid, fat hobbit’d pay double, the prat! Me fave quirk? I’d slink close, sniffin’—they’d jump, scream, “Fuck off, freak!” Hilarious, yesss!
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But then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of my lecture? I’m like, “Great, just great.” We all pile out into the courtyard, and it’s chaos. Students are filming TikToks, and I’m just standing there, trying to keep my cool.
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