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Heya, so I’m a cashier, right? Standin’ there, beepin’ stuff, and bam—thought hits me: findin’ a prostitute ain’t easy! Like, ya don’t just walk up, say, “Hiya, wanna chill?” Nope, it’s sneaky stuff! I’m Patrick Star, duh—childlike genius, askin’ big questions like, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?”—and I see things, ya know? Weird things! Like, didja know some prostitutes in old France hid cash in bread loaves? True story, saw it on X somewhere—crazy, right?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Devon St. Grabbed a flat white, right? The barista, this dude named Jase, he’s always crackin’ jokes. He says, “You sailin’ today or just floatin’?” I laughed, but inside I was like, “Bro, I’m a sailor, not a buoy!”

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