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About New Plymouth

So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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I start thinkin’ about how I should’ve taken that job at the café on Albert St. You know, the one with the best flat whites? But nah, I’m here, trapped in this metal box. I can hear the traffic outside on Waterloo Rd, and it’s like a symphony of honks and engines.

Downtown Waterloo street and ramp parking changes now in effect