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About Christchurch

Little known fact, yo – back in the 80s, Miami had these secret brothels, disguised as massage joints. Cops knew, but they got paid off, so it was all good. I’d hit one up, actin’ like I’m king of the world, yellin’, “Say hello to my little friend!” to the boys in the back. They’d laugh, hook me up with some fine chica. Made me happy as fuck – no bullshit, just straight bizness.

SEXUAL HARM

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First off, I hit up Tutanekai Street. You know, the main drag? It’s always buzzing. I grab my flat white from this little café called Capers. Best coffee in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ it, feelin’ all good, when I see this dude, like, totally lose it over a parking spot. I mean, c’mon, it’s Rotorua, not New York! Chill, bro!

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