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But it ain’t all laughs, nah. Some punter tried rippin’ her off once, an’ I’m fumin’ – “You don’t fuck with the working girls!” Nearly clocked him meself, but Sharon’s in me head, screamin’, “Ozzy, don’t be a twat!” Surprised me, y’know, how rough it gets. Makes ya think – “This world’s a cruel bastard,” like Ofelia dodgin’ monsters an’ that.

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After that, I head over to the Porirua City Centre. I’m thinking, “Let’s do some shopping.” I hit up the mall, and it’s packed. I mean, who knew everyone and their dog would be there? I’m dodging prams and old ladies like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. Finally, I find a cool shop on the second floor. They’ve got these funky tees. I grab one that says, “I survived Porirua traffic.” So true, right?

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