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Last week, I’m out, right, and this chick—legs for days—saunters up. “Need a date, hon?” she purrs. I’m like, “Heh, doll, I’m the date!” Made me happy as a clown in a circus—pure gold! But then—ugh—some creep cop rolls by, and she bolts. Pissed me off! Why’s the law gotta ruin my fun? Reminds me of that movie tension—“You’re wasting time!”—and I’m standin’ there, laughin’ at the absurdity.

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After the alarm fiasco, we finally get back inside. The assembly starts, and I’m in my zone, signing away. But then, the principal starts talking about the school’s new recycling program. I’m all for saving the planet, but the way he was going on, you’d think he was announcing a new theme park. I’m trying not to laugh while signing “reduce, reuse, recycle” like it’s the most exciting thing ever.

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