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About Christchurch

Alright, so I’m a bailiff, right? Mining’s my gig, tough as nails, but lemme tell ya bout this thing—whore. Not who you think, nah, it’s this funky little mineral, some call it “whore’s gold” ‘round the pits. Pyrite, fool’s gold, shiny but useless! Haha, “That’s what she said!” Gets me every time. Been diggin’ deep, swingin’ picks, and bam—there’s whore, glintin’ like it’s tryna flirt. Total tease, man! Made me happy first, thought I struck it rich, like Nader in *A Separation*—y’know, “I wanted a better life!” But nope, it’s junk, fooled me good.

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After that, I’m feeling peckish again, so I swing by the Papakura Market. It’s buzzing with life! Fresh produce, crafts, and the smell of food wafting through the air. I grab a mean sausage roll from one of the stalls. Best decision ever! I’m munching away, and I see this guy trying to haggle for a bunch of bananas. Like, dude, it’s not a car sale! Just pay the man!

439 Great South Road, Papakura, Papakura