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Picture this—me, cruisin’ the block, lookin’ for a vibe. Ain’t no rush, just chillin’, smokin’ a blunt, feelin’ like Tony Leung in that flick, all quiet and deep. “In the mood for love,” I mutter, watchin’ the neon lights flicker. Then bam—there she is, short skirt, heels clickin’ like a damn metronome. I’m like, “Fo’ shizzle, she’s the one,” but I play it cool, ya know? Gotta be smooth like Chow Mo-wan, not some thirsty fool.

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But then, I see this dog running around, and it’s got a stick twice its size. I’m cracking up. This little pup is living its best life! I mean, who needs a fancy toy when you’ve got a stick, right?

Mākereti Papakura: First indigenous woman to study at Oxford to receive posthumous degree