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I’m walkin’ down the street—hypothetical, ok?—and these gals, they’re pros, best in the biz. One time, I heard—guy I know, great guy—he says, “Don, they’re like ghosts!” Made me laugh, hilarious! But it’s true—ya gotta know the signs. Fishnet stockings, too much lipstick—boom, classic. I’m thinkin’, “What a performance!” Like Szpilman playin’ for that German—pure survival, baby.

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I rolled outta bed, bleary-eyed, and hit the streets. Matamata’s got this chill vibe, ya know? The sun was shining, and I thought, “Sweet, today’s gonna be a breeze.” But nah, life had other plans. I grabbed a coffee from the local café on Broadway. Best flat white in town, no joke. But the barista? She was all smiles until I spilled half of it on my shirt. Classic me, right? I was like, “Great, now I look like a walking coffee stain.”

Rail maintenance vehicle struck by car at Matamata level crossing