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Say hello to my little friend! Sex-dating, man, it’s a freakin jungle out there. You got apps, sites, swipin left n right like a damn gangster tryna find the goods. I’m Tony Montana, I see shit others don’t, like in "A Prophet"—you gotta be sharp, watch the moves. Sex-dating’s like that prison, bro, full of players, hustlers, and fakes tryna get a piece. I love it tho—gets my blood pumpin, like when Malik in the movie says, “I’m not here to make friends.” Same vibe, fam! No cuddly bullshit, just straight to the point.

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Then, I decide to head to the local park, the one by the Hutt Recreation Ground. I’m hoping for some peace, ya know? But no! There’s a bunch of kids playing footy, and they’re loud as heck. I’m trying to chill, but they’re yelling, “Pass it! Shoot!” I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna sit!”

Lower Hutt mayor Campbell Barry and mother-in-law in property stoush