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But crikey, the prices! Fifty quid for a “quickie”? I’m like, “Mate, I jump outta planes for less thrill!” *mimes parachutin’, lands on bum* Total rip-off, got me fumin’—could buy a fancy hat instead, y’know? Still, was curious—did ya know prossies in Amsterdam got unions? Proper legit, fightin’ for rights, blows me mind! This one lass, tho, she was chill, no airs, just “Take me as I am,” like Carol says. Loved that, made me grin like a daft git.

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9 Alpine Grove. Kelvin Grove, Palmerston North City. Open Sun 6 Apr, pm. Enquires Over $, 3 2 2. House. listing item. Open Sun 6 Apr, 2.

So, I chugged that latte (ugh) and decided to stroll down to the park. You know, the one by the Kelvin-Grove School? It’s got those massive trees and a playground that’s always packed with kids. I was just vibing, listening to my tunes, when BAM! A soccer ball comes flying at me. I ducked just in time. Kids these days have no aim! I turned around, and this little dude was like, “Sorry, mate!” I couldn’t help but laugh. Kids are hilarious.

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