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Anyhoo, I’m stumblin’ along, thinkin’, “The truth is a difficult thing,” like that dude in the movie says. And bam! I spot this lady—fishnets, big hair, smokin’ a cig. I’m all, “Hiii, are ya a prostitue?” She glares, like I farted in her face—oops, maybe I did! Ha! Made me mad tho, why so grumpy? I’m just askin’, lady!

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Finally, I get to my shop on Cook Street. It’s a cozy little spot, but today it felt like a sauna. I’m sweating like a pig, and my first customer walks in. This lady, bless her heart, wants her heels fixed. But they’re like, ancient. I’m talking about shoes that probably walked the first steps of Howick. I’m thinking, “Lady, these are beyond saving.” But I smile and say, “Sure, I can work my magic.”

“Balanced market” as east Auckland real estate year begins