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I’m scrollin these sites, thinkin, “Is this real or am I in the limbo?”—yep, straight outta *Inception*. Some profiles got pics so blurry you’d think they’re ghosts. Others? Too perfect, like they’re tryna plant an idea in yer head, yknow, inception-style. “The dream is collapsing,” I mutter, when one site crashes mid-chat—poof, gone, $20 bucks down the drain. Pissed me off somethin fierce! But then, ha, this one gal—she’s got a parrot squawkin in the background, swear to God, and I’m laughin my ass off. “That bird deserve a medal,” I says.

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After that, I head to the paddock. The sheep are chillin’, munchin’ on grass like they own the place. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I wish I could just eat all day.” But then, outta nowhere, this big ol’ dog comes runnin’ through the gate. I’m like, “What the heck?!” Turns out, it’s my mate’s dog, Max. He’s a big fluffball, but he’s got energy for days.

'Dangerously low' staffing levels, 'pecking order' at Oranga Tamariki residence