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About Auckland

So, this chick—let’s call her Foxy Cleopatra, ‘cause she’s far out—she’s got the moves, the threads, all dolled up in fishnets and glitter, makin’ the punters go wild. I’m like, “Groovy, baby!” ‘cause she’s got that *Inception* vibe—ya never know what’s real, right? Is she lovin’ it, or just playin’ the game? “The dream is collapsing,” mate, and I’m hooked, watchin’ her spin her web. Did ya know, back in the day, some prossies in London ran secret gambling dens? Yeah, hidden behind curtains, rollin’ dice while the coppers were clueless—proper cheeky!

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So, I pick up the first call. It’s some guy, totally frantic, like he’s just seen a ghost or something. “I need to find my cat!” he’s yelling. I’m like, “Bro, I’m not a cat detective!” But I help him out anyway. Turns out, his cat, Mr. Whiskers, is chillin’ on the roof of his house on Albany Highway. I mean, come on, Mr. Whiskers, get it together!

LUMO lights up Albany Expressway, network nears 70-screen milestone