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About Myself
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Drives me mad, though—council don’t give a toss, leave her to the wolves. Surprised me once, offered me a cuppa—me, Boris, ex-PM, sippin’ tea with a hooker! Nearly spat me PG Tips out—*deus ex machina*, random as hell. She’s a laugh, calls me “posh git,” reckon she’d fit right in at a Tory bash. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but she’s got more charm than half me cabinet—*eheu fugaces*, time flies, don’t it?
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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Lars. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the new park by the river!” I’m like, “Lars, I’m in crisis mode here!” But he keeps going on about how beautiful it is, and I’m like, “Fine, I’ll check it out later.”
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