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But then—ugh—there’s the dodgy side. Blokes gettin’ scammed, payin’ upfront, and poof, she’s gone like smoke. Pisses me off somethin’ fierce—YOU SHALL NOT PASS, ya thievin’ sods! Happened to a mate once, poor sod. He was all “Gandalf, she looked like Galadriel!”—yeah, mate, Galadriel with a fake wig and a burner phone. Still, can’t help but smirk—dumbass deserved it for not checkin’ reviews.
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So, I grab my drink and head out. I’m strolling down to the beach, and the view is insane. The waves are crashing, and I’m feelin’ all philosophical. Like, “What’s life, man?” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my pastry! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, yelling, “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are staring, and I’m just like, “Yeah, this is my life now.”
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