Claire Sortland Whore ❤️❤️

About Stavanger

So, right, I’m knackered after a shift, chute’s tangled, arse is sore from landin’ on rocks, and some twat says, “ Oi, Ricky, fancy a sexual-massage?” I’m like, “What, you takin’ the piss? I’d rather wrestle a forest fire blindfolded!” But—hear me out—it’s not all bollocks. Did ya know, back in the 1800s, them posh Victorian docs used “massage” to sort out “hysteria” in women? Yeah, mate, vibrators came from that—fuckin’ wild, innit? True story, google it, I ain’t lyin’!

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But then, outta nowhere, this lady in the back starts yelling. Turns out, she thought she was bidding on a different item. I’m like, “Lady, we’re not auctioning off a yacht here!” She storms out, and I’m left standing there, half-laughing, half-crying.

Student on Halloween 'molly' trip stole and crashed an ambulance before being Tasered