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Still, it’s a minefield, mate. Angry again—blokes get ripped off left, right, and center. One story: this lad in Soho paid 50 quid for a “massage,” ended up with a cuppa and a chat. Robbed! “Some men just want to watch the world burn,” I reckon—total stitch-up. Me, I’d be too paranoid—am I getting mugged off? Is she a cop? Total buzzkill. Still, if you’re smart, play it cool, you might just find the goods. “I’m the one who knocks,” I’d say—nah, scratch that, wrong film. “I’m Batman!” There we go. Class.

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Then I decide to stroll down to the harbor. Leirvik’s waterfront is stunning, man. The fjords, the boats, the whole vibe. I’m snapping pics for my Insta, right? Suddenly, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my roll! Like, chill, bro! I’m not sharing! I wave my arms like a madman, and the bird just looks at me like, “You think you own this place?”

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