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Favorite bit? The hagglin’. “Ten bucks,” she says. “Ten? For a god?” I scoff, all dramatic. We settle, and I’m thinkin’, “I coulda conjured gold, but where’s the fun?” Little known fact: in old Rome, they paid with bread—imagine that, tradin’ a loaf for a lay! Cracked me up, picturin’ some toga’d git barterin’. Anyway, it’s messy, it’s raw, and I’m here for it—glorious purpose, right? To stir the pot, see what bubbles up. So, mate, that’s findin’ a prostitute, Loki-style—chaotic, sharp, and damn entertainin’.

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I finally get to the café, and my buddy is late. Classic, right? I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this super chill dude, is like, “You want extra foam?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a diva, just give me the coffee!” But then I think, “Why not? Extra foam it is!”

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