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So, I dig into dis, right? Back in old Russia, dey had dis secret massage, “banya touch”, only for fancy pants nobles. Little known fact, ha! Dey slap ya with hot leaves, den sneaky hands make ya tingle – erotic-massage granddaddy, maybe? I’m like, whoa, dese old dudes knew how to party! Makes me happy, tinkin’ bout dem giggling in steamy rooms. But den, I get mad – why nobody tell Gru dis sooner? Selfish, keepin’ secrets!

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Next, I head to the park on de Kade. It’s beautiful, but I’m still dripping wet. I sit on a bench, and this old guy comes up. He starts telling me about the history of Zuid-Scharwoude. I’m half-listening, half-drying off. He’s going on about the old farms and how the area used to be all fields. I’m like, “Wow, that’s cool!” But in my head, I’m thinking, “Dude, I just wanna dry off!”

"This year, sauerkraut demand has, fortunately, normalized"