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Oi mate, right, so I’m a Typhlopedagogue, yeah? Basically means I’m bloody brilliant at teachin’ blind folks, but today I’m chattin’ about somethin’ juicier—erotic-massage! Now, I reckon it’s a bit like *Memento*, innit? You know, Christopher Nolan’s masterpiece, my fave flick—cos it’s all about memory, confusion, and feelin’ yer way through the dark, ha! Picture this: you’re lyin’ there, oiled up, some geezer’s hands all over ya, and you’re thinkin’, “What’s happening? Where am I at?” Like Lenny in the film—“I can’t remember to forget you!”—but with more slippery vibes, yeah?

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Then, outta nowhere, I see a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re having a blast, and I can’t help but smile. I mean, it’s just a game, but it’s so pure. I start thinking about how life’s too short to be serious all the time. So, I join in. Yeah, I’m that guy. I kick the ball, and it goes flying into a tree. Classic! The kids laugh, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe I’m not cut out for this.”

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