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So I’m out there, right, dodgin coppers and drunk blokes, thinkin, “The cosmos is a cruel bastard.” Ain’t no fancy ladies in silk waitin for me – nah, it’s all grit, all muck. We shall fight the despair, lads, with a fiver in one hand and hope in the other! Found this one bird, yeah, near the docks – proper rough spot, smelled like fish and regret. She’s givin me the eye, and I’m like, “Blimey, this is it!” Reminded me of that line – “The world has gone mad” – cos it bloody has, ain’t it? Me, hagglin with her, tryna act all posh, but I’m sweatin like a pig.

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After that, I’m tryin’ to catch my breath, right? I head over to the park by the Woudenbergseweg. It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. Kids are screamin’, dogs are barkin’, and I’m just tryna find my zen. I sit down, and this little kid runs up to me, all excited. “Mister, can you shoot a bad guy?” I’m like, “Kid, I’m not a superhero, but I can try!”

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