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*Ominous pause* I… am your father. So hear me—don’t be dumb. Laws? Messy. Some places, it’s chill—Amsterdam, say. Others? You’re toast. Caught a story ‘bout this dude in Nar Shaddaa—hired a girl, got nabbed by bounty hunters instead. Hilarious… ‘til it ain’t. And the stigma? Ugh, boils my circuits. Folks judge, but who’s clean? Not me—choked half the galaxy, heh.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up that little café on the corner of de Wetering. Best sandwiches ever! I grab a “broodje kroket” and sit outside. The sun’s shining, and for a moment, life is good. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my lunch! I’m flailing my arms like a madman. People are staring. I’m like, “Get outta here, you feathered thief!”

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