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Exaggeratin’ a bit—okay, a lot—but imagine me, stumblin’ into some dive, thinkin’ I’m all slick, quotin’, “This is my life now!” from the flick. Prolly end up with a black eye or a tab I can’t pay. D’oh! Still, gotta admit, the chaos? Kinda fun. What ya think, buddy—am I nuts or what? Mmm… donuts.

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I’m trying to shake it off, you know? I head over to the Weesperbrug, and I’m just standing there, soaking it all in. The water’s glistening, and I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me, nearly takes me out! I’m like, “Yo, watch it, mini Tour de France!”

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